My son, Logan has known for years he was interested in other guys. It's been a long road of self discovery on his part as he doesn't identify as what he has seen up to this point of a stereotypical "gay man"...by that I mean flamboyant and feminine. He's never related or felt comfortable presenting himself that way. But he liked guys. So shouldn't he act that way? That was something he asked himself. Now---Logan has also been interested in girls. But he has never identified as a stereotypical "straight man" either. By that I mean, he's not macho and he has always been more interested in arts and crafts and learning than footballs, basketballs and proving he's tougher or stronger than the other boys in middle school (which was what most of the other boys his age were then doing). He wondered...if I don't act like them, I must be gay, right? See that's where stereotypes get toxic. Not that they ever serve anyone well. But they can be very confusing as a developing teenager that can't check the "normal boy" boxes. And even more so when he can't check the "gay boy" boxes either. His interests have always been unique and anything but stereotypical of any label society presented him with. Here's what we have learned. Be who you are and love who you love. Fuck labels. That is where we stand to this day. While he still is on a journey, what is most important is that he feels comfortable on that journey, that he knows he will make mistakes along the way and that is a part of his journey and that it's okay to stumble. That there is no right or wrong way to love in life. That he doesn't have to choose a box/label to fit in and that he can just be Logan. Because there were no clear lines that he felt comfortable with, he's not been confident in letting others in on his world of discovery. But Senior Prom was coming and we talked and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He had not disclosed to his High School friends that he was interested in same-sex relationships for two reasons---his unclear and still exploratory journey and the fact that his friends had expressed homophobic thoughts and sentiments throughout his years of knowing them. He decided at the beginning of the year that he would just graduate without letting any of them in on this. He didn't want to risk being ostracized because he was different (which he personally witnessed them do to another friend). We accept any decision he makes on this journey and do not push so we expected him to graduate with it being something personal to him and not public knowledge. While we have experienced some bumps in the road on this journey, we have been there for him and most importantly, he knows we will always love and accept him. I did reach out and find a local support resource for him called the Louisville Youth Group, an LGBTQ group for the youth to connect and find safe haven. He met people there that made him feel safe and before I knew it, he told me he wanted to bring a guy he had met to his Senior Prom. I made sure he was sure and he was-- so guess what? He did it! I'm so proud of him for being open to exploring relationships and especially for putting himself out there and just bringing someone he enjoyed and was into for his prom, regardless of what his friends might think. The good news? He felt accepted. He had a great time. And he will continue moving forward one step at a time in his young life...dating whom he chooses to and finding happiness in places happiness resides...not in a box...not in a label...but in being Logan. Enjoy these photos of Logan and Luke on their first official date at Logan's Senior Prom. <3
I'm a proud momma. I Love You, Logan. <3 My hope is everyone will always see your soul before they judge you in any way. Your soul is beautiful and always has been. Don't stray from being that sweet little boy that always chased butterflies at YMCA Sports Camp while everyone else was chasing a soccer ball. Stay true to you and what interests you without fear.
Hugs & Kisses,
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Got a positive thought or words of encouragement for Logan? We would love for you to comment on this post and send him some love <3